maintaining the right balance

I always thought I was good at handling relationships,
as each relationship I made was close to my heart,

love obviously was there care, I did and understanding, 

I tried to maintain were these the only requisites? 

no there is more to it.

relationships I had heard go deeper and deeper with time,
but the more I was getting in the more I felt uneasy,

I don’t know why but I wasn’t feeling good,
just wanted to break free of all of them,

could not understand the reason,
gradually I realized that it was the lack of space.

lack of breathing space,

space where I was myself at times, 

to keep the other person in the relationship happy.

I did things which I didn’t want to,
more and more it happened as the relation grew,
this was wrong as I had to be dishonest to myself,

I thought, this is the way to keep things going but it wasn’t,

more it happened, more it suffocated me,
more I felt the lack of space just didn’t have enough air to breathe.

I heard, saw and spoke what others wanted me to,
I was losing my identity, I was losing myself,
all of a sudden, the world looked so confined,

someone told me that “with every new relation
you have to be extra careful not to let it affect the older ones”
these words seem so true… and this is where I erred,

whenever a new relation developed
I had lesser time for some of the older ones,
or some other time.. for somebody’s happiness
I had to be distant from somebody else,

everything became so messy,
it’s really not easy to maintain them.

today, I realize the importance of breathing space in any relationship,
how important it is to let the person be himself/herself,

may it be your relation with your spouse, your siblings, 

your parents or your love…
maintaining the right balance is important.

its easy to jump at conclusions

but difficult to imagine ourselves at that place,

there’s always a new morning,
as before, life brings a new relation everyday,
and they get close too. 

but I don’t feel uneasy any more..
I have learned to maintain my self respect

and at the same time maintain the space,
and as long as these are there,

the journey together will be good.