where is my life going?

My life is a bad dream,
Sometimes it gets so hard I want to scream!

I am in disguise, 

so no one will recognize what I really feel inside.

This pain is too much…
I can’t shake it,
I can’t take it anymore.

These feelings eat me up inside,
they are just too hard to hide.

This is my alibi…
tears stream down my face,

I lose sight of God’s grace.
I am falling into a dark pit, with no light in it.

My world is closing in with evil thoughts of sin.
My heart is shattered, torn, and tattered…

The people I see who think they know me have no idea what lies beneath.
They see a girl with good grades and a smiling face,
not knowing what’s really the case.

I am so insecure and unsure about myself, 

where is my life going?

Will this roller coaster end?
It gets harder with each turn and bend along the way.

I have thoughts of suicide,
but if I die, what then?

What happens in the end?

I take the dice and roll it twice.
Now my hands are as cold as ice.

I try to stand, but fall down and crawl.
I’m getting weak.
These wounds are just too deep.

The blood is thick and red as wine,

The morphine can’t ease the pain.

I look down at my clothes as they begin to stain,
and at the needles piercing my veins.

The monitor says I have a flat line, 

but this can’t be me, I am not dying!

I see the light, 

now I must fight with all my might,
I must survive and stay alive!

I hear a voice that soothes my soul, 

now I start to gain control.

The flat line breaks and starts to climb as
I grab hold of this hand reaching for mine.

The darkness fades and turns to grey,
The sun comes out and saves the day,
now I know I will be okay.

Now I thank god for making it through the night,
as I begin to see the light.

Life is tough and the road I walk is rough,
but now I know that I will make it through,
as long as I have you my lord.