if pain is love then my pain is fate

I want be loved
but I love to hate,
so if pain is love
then my pain is fate.

my voice is spoken
that goes unheard
a presence in the flesh
where no one turns.

lonely in the world
is how I see most of my days,
filled with pain and stress
and still smile in your face.

still I put myself out there
day after day,
searching for lifes treasures
and get it thrown back in my face.

hoping for a glimpse
or even a taste
of this thing I can’t grasp
that I want someday.

so I stand here before you
waiting for a sign
of a love I so desperately want
I can’t seem to find.