what more can I do

scars remain with pain inside,
my heart holds hurt that I cannot hide,
bruised and broken
torn and tattered
a world I once knew has been shattered…
I reach out to you
and you push me away.
I try to explain it,
but you laugh it away…
so what more can I say?
what more can I do?


nothing will ever be good enough for you...so why do I try??

aaj sabse jada karta hun unhi se nafrat

ye kya ho raha hai, ye kyun ho raha hai?
kya theek hai,  jo kuch bhi ho raha hai?

har aahat par lagta hai kisi ne dil ko pukaara,
dusre hi pal mehsus hua ki jhut hai ye saara,

nahi jaanta kya sach hai aur kya jhut,
gar yun hi chalta raha to
jaaonga main apni zindagi se ruth,

woh pyar ke kaabil hi nahi thi,
phir kyun dil uska intzaar karta hai,

woh pyaar ke naam par ek dhabba hai,
phir kyun yeh manne se yeh dil inkaar karta hai,

jis shaks se mujhe mohabbat huyi thi,
woh shaks to kahi kho gayi hai,

jo shaks mere saamne ab hai,
yeh woh nahi hai jisse mujhe mohabbat huyi thi

nahi jaana unhone kabh bhi ki
kitni mohabbat karta tha unse main,

lekin ab woh yeh jaan hi le to acha hoga,
ki aaj sabse jada karta hun unhi se nafrat main.

bheed mein chala aa raha tha ki tu nazar aa gayi

ye sab soch kar hi ghabra sa gaya main aaj,
khoon ke aanshu roya aur,
khud se kitne sawaal kar baitha main aaj,

kabhi tu lagti thi jaise meri deewani hai,
aur aaj apna hoke bhi tu kitni begani hai,

bheed mein chala aa raha tha ki tu nazar aa gayi,
baat karna chahata tha tujhse,
par dil mein magar shabd aa gaya,

aankhein jaise hi takri teri un gehri aankhon se,
dil bebas hone laga meri un tez saanson se,

kadam chahate the tere paas chalkar chale jaayein,
kehna bahut kuch tha par ashk naino se chalakte jaayein,

naa hum kuch keh sake naa woh kuch keh paaye,
naa jaane kaisi lachaari se ek doorse ko dekhte jaayein,

bheegein thi palkein humari askhon ki chandni se,
un pyaar bhari aankhon mein bhi par ashk kahan ruk paaye,

bardhaya haath phir unhone apna,
hum kahan apna haath unhein de paaye,

jo berukhi, jo doori ban gayi naa chahate huye bhi darmiyaan,
woh doori aaj ek mulakaat se kaise mit jaaye,

kya woh chahate hain humein aaj bhi,
bas yehi hum aaj tay naa kar paaye,

ye sab soch kar hi ghabra sa gaya main,
kiye kitne sawaal khud se jinke jawab naa mil paaye.

humein kisi ki bhi ab koi hasrat nahi hai

koi unko keh de na ab mujhe aur satayein,
mujhe ab sehne ki aadat nahi hai,

na de mujhko ab wo dard ka aur pyaale,
mujhe ab peene ki aadat nahi hai,

nahi koi khwahish saahil ki humko,
humein manzilon ki bhi ab chahat nahi hai,

bhale koi aaye saath de ya humein chord de,
humein kisi ki bhi koi hasrat nahi hai,

“raaj” khud kaid hai apne hi sawalon mein,
unke jawaab ka ab koi intzaar bhi nahi hai.

hum naa samajh paaye yeh duniyadaari

ajab dil ki duniya, ajab iski yaari,
hum naa samajh paaye yeh duniyadaari,

apne dil lagaayein, apne hi rulaayein,
dil ne jataayi humse aksar yeh laachaari,

hum chaahein aapko aur woh bhi apne hi,
kal aap dil dukhaaye aaj hai unki baari,

hum jinse bhi mile, sab log waaiz the,
ek hum mein nahi bas, itni samajhdaari,

apni taraf se karte purzor koshishein hum,
har koshish mein bhari humne imaandaari,

khudaaya, tu jahaan mein ek hi mukammal,
sikha de mujhko kuch apni adaakaari…

janam janam ka saath ho jaise

kisi ko chaahane se kya hota hai,
dil achcha hone se kya hota hai,

kisi ko dil mein basaane se kya hota hai,
jab usko mujh se pyaar hi nahi,

usko apna kehne se kya hota hai,

mujhe rula kar khush hota hai aise,

meri hi aashuon ki usko pyaas ho jaise,

kal raat rooya tha aise jaise,
chaah ho dil mein kuch aise,

phir kabhi savera naa ho,
sharir pe zindagi ka basera naa ho,
dil pe kisi dhadkan kaa pehra naa ho.

aankhein moonda tha aise jaise,
kabhi aankho mein roshni na ho jaise,

kis hakk ki baat ker gayi woh,
kab hakk maanga maine usse,

maana dil haar chuka hoon,
dil chura lo chaahe jaise,

dil pe kabu aab bhi hai aise jaise
dil mera aab bhi mere paas hi ho jaise,

naa hakk chaahiye tum pe mujh ko,
naa koi hakk de hi paaounga,

tumko chaah meri mout ki hai,
tumhaari khushi puri kar doon kaise,

bebas laachaar hoon aise  jaise,
apni mout pe bhi mera vash na ho jaise,

toot jaata hoon aise,
phir naa jurd paaounga jaise,

aaj socha hoon kuch aise,
kyoun roo doon uski baato se aise,

kyoun asar ho uske nafart ka aise,
kyou naa bhool jaaoun usko aise,
woh ek darwaana sapna ho jaise,

par dil chahata hai,
saari khtaaono ko maaff kar doon aise,
mujh par puraa hakk ho tumhaara jaise,

jee chahata hai bassa loon aankho mein aise,
jeevan ka koi haseen sapna ho jaise,

sajja lun tere yaadon ko aise,
gehno se sajji khushiyouno se lardi dulhan ho jaise,

kyoun naa jord lun tumse dil ka rishta aise,
janam janam ka saath ho jaise.

a second chance to make things right

a cluttered life,
a cluttered past,
searching for something that will last…

trying to shed the dead skin that
has been your mask.

you are trying to hold on with all that you have
but there’s nothing left for you to grab.

so you crawl back into you little ‘hole’,
where at least you have some ‘control’

so you snort it up,
you drink it down,
you hit the water and start to drown

you lose consciousness,
you star to dream.

God whispers your name,

a hand reaches for yours and pulls you up,
when they get you to the top
they check your pulse to see if your heart has stopped.

you come back to life and begin to breathe again,
you open your eyes to see who saved you,
but you are all alone lying on a pier
in the middle of nowhere.

left wondering how you got there,
so you look to the sky
and realize why you didn’t die,

God was giving you a second try,
a second chance to make things right,
to step back into the light
and continue the fight to live this life.

despite the cost,
despite your loss,
despite your pain,
to know that god is in control
and he won’t ever let you go.