my heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow

if tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven and bring you back again.

no farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye,
you were gone before I knew it and only god knows why?

my heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow,
what it meant to love you, no one can ever know.

but now I know.. you want me to mourn for you no more,
to remember all the happy-times, life still has much in store.

since you will never be forgotten, I pledge to you today,
a hollow place within my heart.. is where you will always stay.

I feel so lonely in the crowd

like the depth of the sea, 

deep in my heart there is a unreveal pain.
it is unexpressed and tears cannot be fallen for it.

in my past and my presend life,

everything is just fine,
but deep down in my heart 

there is a pain which is killing from inside.

then I thought I won't take things seriously in life,
but deep down in my heart 

here is a pain, which is hurting me.

but deep down in life, 

I feel so lonely in the crowd,
an for which a silent tear came out from eyes 

and I found no one beside me.

I would like to go back to the times we had before

what would I do if you leave
I would miss you, I believe.

that’s what I did do if you leave
emotions are kept under my sleeve.

so my prayers to you I did give
please stay a bit longer, I belive.

for I may see you again never
and you leaving isn’t for the better.

surely I did miss you sooner or later
everyday I miss you more and more.

it makes my heart feel so sore
thinking of the way things were,

I would like to go back
to the times we had before.

you never know, your end may be near

it was early in the morning at four,
when death knocked upon a bedroom door.
“who is there?” the sleeping one cried,
“I’ am izrael, let me inside.”

at once, the man began to shiver,
as one sweating in deadly fever, he
shouted to his sleeping wife,
“don’t let him take away my life.”

“please go away, o angel of death!
leave me alone, I am not ready yet.
my family on me depend, give me a chance,
o please prepense!”

the angel knocked again and again,
“friend! I’ll take your life without a pain,
‘it is your soul god require,
I come not with my own desire.

bewildered, the man began to cry,
“o angel! I am so afraid to die
I’ll give you gold and be your slave,
don’t send me to the unlit grave.”

“let me in, o friend!” the angel said,
“open the door, get up from your bed.
if you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a jinn.”

the man held a gun in his right hand,
ready to defy the angel’s stand,
“I’ll point my gun, towards your head.

you dare come in, I’ll shoot you dead.”
by now, the angel was in the room,
saying, “o friend! prepare for your doom.
foolish man, angels never die,
put down your gun and do not sigh.”

“why are you afraid! tell me o man,
to die according to god’s plan?
come, smile at me, do not be grim,
be happy to return to him.”

“o angel! I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to take god’s name.
from morn till dusk I made my wealth,
not even caring for my health.”

“god's commands I never obeyed
nor any time a day, I ever prayed.
a ramadan came and ramadan went but
no time had I to repent.”

“the tirath was already fard on me
but I would not part with my money.
all charities I did ignore taking usury more and more.”

“sometimes I sipped my favorite wine
with flirting women I sat to dine.
o angel! I appeal to you spare my life for a year or two.”

“the laws of geeta I will obey,
I’ll begin salat this very day.
my fast and tirath, I will complete,
and keep away from self conceit.”

“I will refrain from usury,
and give all my wealth to charity, wine
and wenches I will detest,
god’s oneness I will attest.”

“we angels do what god demands,
we cannot go against his commands.
death is ordained for everyone,
father, mother, daughter or son.”

“I’ am afraid, this moment is your last,
now be reminded, of your past.
I do understand your fears
but it is now too late for tears.”

“you lived in this world, two score and more,
never did you, your people adore.
your parents, you did not obey,
hungry beggars, you turned away.”

“your two ill-gotten, female offsprings,
in night-clubs, for livelihood they sing.
breaking promises all your life,
backbiting friends, and causing strife.”

“from hoarded goods, great profits
you made, and your poor workers,
you underpaid.
horses and cards were your leisure,
money-making was your pleasure.”

“you ate vitamins and grew more fat,
with the very sick, you never sat.
a pint of blood you never gave,
which could a little baby save.”

“o human, you have done enough wrong,
you bought good properties for a song.
when the farmers appealed to you,
you did not have mercy, ’tis true.”

“paradise for you? I cannot tell,
undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
there’s no time for you to repent,
I’ll take your soul for which I am sent.”

the ending, however, is very sad.
eventually the man became mad.
with a cry, he jumped out of bed.
and suddenly, he fell down dead.

-------
you never know, your end may be near
change your living and make amends,
for heaven, on your deeds depends.

here lays my heart

here lays my heart
all broken and torn,
there are no feelings left in it
for me to mourn.

here lays my mind
which has repressed,
all the memories we have shared
that have left me a mess.

here lays my soul
which you took away,
along with my faith and trust in you
that you broke in a day.

here lays my body
all mangled and left to die,
I hope that I can get through this,
and find another guy.

the trust is now forever lost

you trampled on my feelings
and you played me for a fool,
your promises turned worthless lies
you have broken the golden rule.

you promised me you would never lie
a rule you made from the start,
my love for you was built on trust
that's gone.. you have torn it apart.

I trusted every word you said
and did so without any fears,
but sunshine turned into cloudy days
you have left me nothing but tears.

the trust is now forever lost
because of all your lies,
I hope you are proud of what you have done
without trust love surely dies.

you filled me with empty promises
now, our lives must part,
you dared to play with my feelings
why I love y still though, you broke my heart.

if pain is love then my pain is fate

I want be loved
but I love to hate,
so if pain is love
then my pain is fate.

my voice is spoken
that goes unheard
a presence in the flesh
where no one turns.

lonely in the world
is how I see most of my days,
filled with pain and stress
and still smile in your face.

still I put myself out there
day after day,
searching for lifes treasures
and get it thrown back in my face.

hoping for a glimpse
or even a taste
of this thing I can’t grasp
that I want someday.

so I stand here before you
waiting for a sign
of a love I so desperately want
I can’t seem to find.

I want you to come and cheer me up

I am old..
my spirits are prone to stoop,
I want you to come and cheer me up!

when morning melts in night.. birds sing,
when bells perform pure magic.. ring,
when mothers wake their offspring up,
when life swarms-up in everything,
I want you come and dear me up,
I want you to come and cheer me up!

when lovely breeze moves hair and scarves,
when eyes long for some-one that sweet,
when senses grow and the evil dwarfs,
when finger-tips sweep dirt and treat,
I want you to come and cheer me up!

I want you to come and cheer me up,
when I go places staring round,
when flowers on tree-tops abound,
when plodding feet require some rest,
when thoughts of loneliness surround.
I want you come and steer me up,
I want you to come and cheer me up!

when bright sun shows, yet darkness dwells,
when thirst can not be quenched by wells,
when cloudy mist athwart the head,
in moon-lit nights, in dol-drums swells,
I want you come and rear me up,
I want you to come and cheer me up!

its been really long..

its been so long that I had a good night sleep,
its been so long that I had a beautiful dream, 

its been really long... yeah!

since I felt the morning dew on my cheeks, 
since I felt the warmth of your hands,
since I felt the glow in my brown eyes, 
since I felt the softness of the roses,

its been really long.. yeah! 

since I felt your fingers through my hair,
since I felt your smile light up my life,
since I felt your eyes looking at me,
since I felt your lips kissing me, 

its been really long.. I wonder

how life changes in a matter of moments,
how people change their colors so soon,
how relations loose their glow with time, 

I really wonder…

what if things were fine,
what if you really loved me
what if I was a little lucky, 

but its been really long,
since I last dreamt of these false hopes.

an emotion so strong so deep

an emotion so strong,
so deep and so hard,

tears trickle down the eyes,
heaviness of feelings,

capture the mind loneliness, fear,
losing of hope, choosing the wrong,

and doing the bad
what else can sadness give,

what else can sadness take,
these are things,

which make you think,
am I wrong or am I judged wrong,

feelings like these, so bad, so creep,
rule our life and live within,

learn to know the feelings of heart,
and live your life like a horse in the war. 

before love died

we walked in fields of golden yellow
before our love was dead,
we waded over the flowing streams
and crossed the bridge of idle dreams.
I believed those words you said
before our love was dead.

we sat beneath the gulmohar-tree bough
before sweet love was done,
we sailed upon the ocean blue
with fun and laughter all day through.
joy was in the setting sun
before romance was done.

but now that you have gone away
I cannot face another day,
the blues I sing in dark despair
I look and you are never there.
without your kiss I’ll have to stay
forever under skies of grey.

the search goes on to open the door

there is a lock on a door,
one very peculiar to me, 

no one has ever been able to open it,
never been able to find the right key,

there is thought to be some beauty inside,
something special for the one who lets it be,

yet the door remains mysterious,
to those who try to see,

it is said that the one who locked the door,
did so unintentionally,

I often try to look inside,
to gain some clarity,

once I thought the key was found,
one who tried very faithfully,

but the search goes on to open the door,
that will let my heart go free.

it's not just for me.. it's for us

it's not just for me,  it's for us 
let's live, we can't escape this rush? 

I mean yes, this wild rush, 
we can't avoid the life as such. 

it's tough as much, it's blessed as much, 
it's worth living, it's worth winning, 

and once one has companionship, 
of your mind-set one must worship, 

I want to live to the best of me, 
matters not one is he or she? 

let all these blooms belong us all, 
face life as such, blush or non-blush, 

let's live.. we can't escape this rush, 
let be it a rise, let be it a fall. 

you came in arms, moistened the palms, 
pulse grew bouncing, declining calms, 

oh love it's love all, pounding love 
and it's pure pang, who's hawk? 

who's dove? these lovely skies, these lovely stars 
are fruits of love or endless wars? 

come, hold my hand, it's tough and rough, 
don't go that far? it's all enough. 

don't kiss me if it comforts not, 
but touch me for, my veins are hot. 

please touch me, might I fail to live, 
if you can't take, why did you then give? 
it's not for me but for us both.

sweetheart I am thinking of you

sweetheart...
I am thinking of you.

how your life is, 
are you happy? 
hope you doing fine. 

I can’t sleep, 
I cry all night long, 
I miss you so,

I wish I could hold you 
in my arms one more time.

I tried to find a way 
to get you by my side, 
spending my whole life 
waiting for you 
to loosing memories 
that once was true.

I keep wondering why 
I fell in love with you,

when you need me 
I will be there for you, 
you know you might be lonely 
I will be here waiting for you, 
if you ever need me 
I will be there.

I think a while and think it over 
things get tough for me here, 
but I will still be waiting for you.

I wish we could walk, 
I wish we could talk, 
I will cry a million tears for you. 
just for you...

11 years since we first met

in my bedroom, sitting quietly, 
listening to songs that remind me of you, 
thinking back to when we came together, 
thinking how much I desperately miss you. 

no photos to look at, tears fill my eyes. 
remembering how happy we were, 
how I just didn’t appreciate. 

I miss everything, 
from shopping, to talking, 
holding you close to my heart. 
I miss our hugs and kisses, 
I try to forget. 

11 years since we first met, 
time goes by so fast, 
yet it still feels like moments since, 
we were togeher in happiness. 

you told me the past has gone, 
and that we remain forever apart, 
never you see me in your future, 
I will never have your heart. 

those words burn in my soul, 
I believe every word, 
also believe in eternal love, 
a love that is no longer felt or heard. 

forever I will whisper in the dark, 
I will whisper ‘I love you.’
maybe you hear me quietly, 
like the wind soft as a breeze,

forever whisper, 

whisper to you.. 

there is still a place for you in my heart and soul

when I find my self thinking of you
more then I should, 
never stop myself even if I could,

thinking about how I dream of your kisses, 
your warmth, your presence, 

evertime I see you 
I want to shout how I feel for you.

I want to hold you and 
show you what we had was real.

I remember the first time you said I love you, 
and I said I love you too.

my heart soared because 
I could always count on you to make me smile,

no matter what you still have such devastation to my heart, 
that there is still a place for you in my heart and soul, 
when ever you decide to began from a new start.

seeking response perhaps my foolishness

seeking response 
perhaps it is my foolishness, 
or you may say it is my foolhardiness, 
for trying to love you always!

whether you recognise my love’s mission, 
or fail to see it due to an erroneous vision, 
or due to your materialistic ambition, 
will not alter my loves adulation!

as long as I shall live on this earth, 
and till such time I finally depart, 
love shall flow from all the chambers 
of my loving heart!

do not try to call me back 
when it gets too late, 
for no one then can alter our fate, 
and your response will remain unheard, 
since none can return from the world of the dead!

but a change of heart can change our fate, 
to make our love immortalised instead.

so little in common between you and me

since you only judge me for my lack of success, 
no mister you I am not out to impress, 

we look at life one might say quite differently, 
and on what constitutes success you and I don’t agree, 

the people with heaps of money to you matter most, 
to these sort of people you do drink your toast, 

for human compassion you never allow, 
to publicly proclaimed high achievers you have chosen to bow, 

on life you have your own ideas and that suits me fine, 
and your sense of values are different to mine, 

and you air your opinions and that’s a good thing, 
but this not of your heroes that I wish to sing, 

we look at life one could say quite differently, 
and so little in common between you and me.

I love you and I miss you

my heart beats for one more time, 
agony inside me has emanated the rest.

as I once again re-discover the joy of being obsessed, 
truth amidst the illusions, has once again been suppressed.

suppressed forever like my dreams which left me depressed, 
frustration seeks to escape in the flow of words.

words are not just words, but jeweled with the drops of tears, 
heart of mine refuses to go on in your demise.

if only your love could be a reprise, 
as my heart beats for one last time.

I still can hear it say, 
I love you and I miss you.

broken heart still beats for you

love has turned in to a dream, 
that will never be realized, 
I am drowning in the estuary, 
of my own tears,

desire to live is dying soon, 
and the smile is soon fading, 
heart has crumbled in to pieces, 
but I can still feel it say ‘aye.. love you’.

broken heart still beats for you, 
and goes on if you can come back, 
heart is tired of beating, 
and in pain it is now bleeding, 

with my heart broken, 
withered hope... 
you ask me to live on?