what is wrong what is right

why do I want to cry..
every time you look into my eyes?

why does it hurts..
every time I delay the tempting kiss of suicide?

why does my life loves to kill me?
why my movements want to still me?

and when I write suicide notes with killing sadness,
my sobbing eyes swell with redness,

why shouldn’t I die before my next breath?
why do I prolong this death?

so what is wrong what is right?
what about tonight?

all I hope and ask for

all I hope and ask for O’ lord..

is that tomorrow when I lay to rest,
another one of my remaining days,

let my eyes glisten,
not with sorrow or shame,
but innocent pride!

let my head not be bowed
with the worthless weight

of another dawdling day,
but be contentedly raised,

on seeing a panting day
hit the finishing line with success.

O' lord.. leave me not

with the ghost of grief – borne by failure,
but with the spirit of success 

he legacy of a winner!!

how much I miss you, no one knows

each moment spend with you is unforgetable,
without you, I am lonely and feeble,

when you were by my side, 

I took my sorrows in my stride,

the only thing I can say about you,
there was never a thing about me, which you never knew.

the gates of memory will never close,
how much I miss you, no one knows,

your sense of humour was really great,

to crack a joke you were never late.

I will never forget yor sweet smile,
which carry my gloom many a mile,

you are like a precious jewel,
in my heart you will always dwell.

Miss you Baba..!!

a million times I need you

you never said I am leaving,
you never said goodbye,
you were gone before we knew it,
and only God knows why?

a million times I need you,
a million times I cried,
if love alone could have saved you,
you never would have died.

in life I loved you dearly,
in death I love you still,
in my heart I hold a place,
that only you can fill.

it broke my heart to loose you,
but you didn’t go alone,
as part of me went with you,
the day God took you his home.

Missing You Always Baba...!!

forever you will live in my thoughts and never die

you are too precious to be forgotten,
and too priceless to be ever replaced.

you were one in a million 

and you will always be the precious 

and unique person I cared for... so dearly.

there are so many things I wish I had said and done,
but sadly can no longer do, now that you are gone..

but I want you to know that 

though you are out of sight,
you will always be in my heart.

I want you to know that I'll always cherish you, 

I'll always love you and always remember you..

forever will you live on, in my heart and mind,
forever you will live in my thoughts and never die.

and until that day, when we shall meet again,
I'll continue to cherish all my memories to you.

even the strongest will, is broken down sometimes

even the strongest will,
is broken down sometimes,
even the most opened heart,
is closed of to it’s histories rhymes.

even the happiest heart,
is saddened more then less.
this is the truth of the life,
I must confess!!

the hardest worker, tries so hard,
the wisest man, is clearly smart,
but the hardest worker,
can’t do it all on his own,
and the smartest person,
doesn’t always know.

you can’t expect me, to be someone,
of such an easily broken will,
but when times get hard,
oh and they do get hard,

I cry out to you..

God of all this world,
you are wonderful,

I no need to worry, about my will,
you are all that counts,
in my heart of such distrust,

I trust only you, I know only you,
can pull me through these times,
God of all this world,
I cry out to you! !

you are the only strength
in this world that can pull me through.

I feel so lonely in the crowd

like the depth of the sea, 

deep in my heart there is a unreveal pain.
it is unexpressed and tears cannot be fallen for it.

in my past and my presend life,

everything is just fine,
but deep down in my heart 

there is a pain which is killing from inside.

then I thought I won't take things seriously in life,
but deep down in my heart 

here is a pain, which is hurting me.

but deep down in life, 

I feel so lonely in the crowd,
an for which a silent tear came out from eyes 

and I found no one beside me.

I would like to go back to the times we had before

what would I do if you leave
I would miss you, I believe.

that’s what I did do if you leave
emotions are kept under my sleeve.

so my prayers to you I did give
please stay a bit longer, I belive.

for I may see you again never
and you leaving isn’t for the better.

surely I did miss you sooner or later
everyday I miss you more and more.

it makes my heart feel so sore
thinking of the way things were,

I would like to go back
to the times we had before.

you never know, your end may be near

it was early in the morning at four,
when death knocked upon a bedroom door.
“who is there?” the sleeping one cried,
“I’ am izrael, let me inside.”

at once, the man began to shiver,
as one sweating in deadly fever, he
shouted to his sleeping wife,
“don’t let him take away my life.”

“please go away, o angel of death!
leave me alone, I am not ready yet.
my family on me depend, give me a chance,
o please prepense!”

the angel knocked again and again,
“friend! I’ll take your life without a pain,
‘it is your soul god require,
I come not with my own desire.

bewildered, the man began to cry,
“o angel! I am so afraid to die
I’ll give you gold and be your slave,
don’t send me to the unlit grave.”

“let me in, o friend!” the angel said,
“open the door, get up from your bed.
if you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a jinn.”

the man held a gun in his right hand,
ready to defy the angel’s stand,
“I’ll point my gun, towards your head.

you dare come in, I’ll shoot you dead.”
by now, the angel was in the room,
saying, “o friend! prepare for your doom.
foolish man, angels never die,
put down your gun and do not sigh.”

“why are you afraid! tell me o man,
to die according to god’s plan?
come, smile at me, do not be grim,
be happy to return to him.”

“o angel! I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to take god’s name.
from morn till dusk I made my wealth,
not even caring for my health.”

“god's commands I never obeyed
nor any time a day, I ever prayed.
a ramadan came and ramadan went but
no time had I to repent.”

“the tirath was already fard on me
but I would not part with my money.
all charities I did ignore taking usury more and more.”

“sometimes I sipped my favorite wine
with flirting women I sat to dine.
o angel! I appeal to you spare my life for a year or two.”

“the laws of geeta I will obey,
I’ll begin salat this very day.
my fast and tirath, I will complete,
and keep away from self conceit.”

“I will refrain from usury,
and give all my wealth to charity, wine
and wenches I will detest,
god’s oneness I will attest.”

“we angels do what god demands,
we cannot go against his commands.
death is ordained for everyone,
father, mother, daughter or son.”

“I’ am afraid, this moment is your last,
now be reminded, of your past.
I do understand your fears
but it is now too late for tears.”

“you lived in this world, two score and more,
never did you, your people adore.
your parents, you did not obey,
hungry beggars, you turned away.”

“your two ill-gotten, female offsprings,
in night-clubs, for livelihood they sing.
breaking promises all your life,
backbiting friends, and causing strife.”

“from hoarded goods, great profits
you made, and your poor workers,
you underpaid.
horses and cards were your leisure,
money-making was your pleasure.”

“you ate vitamins and grew more fat,
with the very sick, you never sat.
a pint of blood you never gave,
which could a little baby save.”

“o human, you have done enough wrong,
you bought good properties for a song.
when the farmers appealed to you,
you did not have mercy, ’tis true.”

“paradise for you? I cannot tell,
undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
there’s no time for you to repent,
I’ll take your soul for which I am sent.”

the ending, however, is very sad.
eventually the man became mad.
with a cry, he jumped out of bed.
and suddenly, he fell down dead.

-------
you never know, your end may be near
change your living and make amends,
for heaven, on your deeds depends.

lying in the hospital

I am lying in the hospital
I am sick obviously
I see these people day and day
the just won't go away.

the pain I feel is always there
I can't stand it anymore
I ask someone to pull the plug
but they wont so I start to tug.

I am weaker by the hours
sicker by the minutes
deader by the seconds
yet they cannot reckon.

I can't take it anymore
these drugs are making me worse
I want to let go
so I start pulling nice and slow.

until the day finally comes
the world finally calms
my soul ready to fly
I was always dead.

what a surprise..!

here lays my heart

here lays my heart
all broken and torn,
there are no feelings left in it
for me to mourn.

here lays my mind
which has repressed,
all the memories we have shared
that have left me a mess.

here lays my soul
which you took away,
along with my faith and trust in you
that you broke in a day.

here lays my body
all mangled and left to die,
I hope that I can get through this,
and find another guy.

the trust is now forever lost

you trampled on my feelings
and you played me for a fool,
your promises turned worthless lies
you have broken the golden rule.

you promised me you would never lie
a rule you made from the start,
my love for you was built on trust
that's gone.. you have torn it apart.

I trusted every word you said
and did so without any fears,
but sunshine turned into cloudy days
you have left me nothing but tears.

the trust is now forever lost
because of all your lies,
I hope you are proud of what you have done
without trust love surely dies.

you filled me with empty promises
now, our lives must part,
you dared to play with my feelings
why I love y still though, you broke my heart.

take me to a place on a distant land

all I ever wanted was for love,
to take me to a place
on a distant land,

where distinction is catered
and satiation promised,

all I ever wanted was
for you and I to take that
long walk towards future,
and find time oblivious
to the doubts,

that we both compromised
all I ever wanted
was my dream to
bring its way,

to life where I can
hold out on the worse pain,

and see myself planted firmly
in your arms.

times change, paths change, situations change

times change, paths change, situations change,
but there is one light which takes to the same destination.

people climb mountains only to find a piece of stone up there,
one wise man told me to take a piece of stone 

from the bottom and place it at the top.

stars guide the ships, the sun guides time,  defeat is guided my victory,

I want to guide the birds and make them learn to fly.

everything and anything in this world

has a destiny a purpose,
few contribute the world by being a menace,
I would like to contribute to this world 

by spreading the knowledge of love and care.

I was told that if I was really thirsty 

then God himself would make it rain on the earth.
I haven't been that fortunate,
but to my surprise have found an ocean 

beneath the very layer of this cold gray earth.

today I am ready to dig into it,

it may take me a day, a month or a year.
but I will definitely find a source.

life is like a pack of cards..

life is like a pack of cards..

when fall in love.. its alll hearts,
when married.. its all flowers,

when rich.. its all diamonds,
and when dead.. its all spades.

I can't stop loving you

please believe me,
don't ever leave me.
I don't lie,
please don't deny.
I can't live widout you.
I juz can't stop loving you.

you want me too,
so I am leaving you.
but my wordz are true,
I am just sorry too say that,

I can't stop loving you.

I don't know, where to go,
don't know, what to do.
I am just sorry to say that,
I can't stop loving you.

let me say today,
something you never knew,
that I love you.
I am just sorry to say that,
I can't stop loving you. 

I want to kiss you all night,
want to love you tonight,
I don't know why?
like hell, I am missing you,
I just can't stop loving you.
and baby its just true.

really,
I can't do, without you.
and I just can't stop loving you.

seeking response perhaps my foolishness

seeking response 
perhaps it is my foolishness, 
or you may say it is my foolhardiness, 
for trying to love you always!

whether you recognise my love’s mission, 
or fail to see it due to an erroneous vision, 
or due to your materialistic ambition, 
will not alter my loves adulation!

as long as I shall live on this earth, 
and till such time I finally depart, 
love shall flow from all the chambers 
of my loving heart!

do not try to call me back 
when it gets too late, 
for no one then can alter our fate, 
and your response will remain unheard, 
since none can return from the world of the dead!

but a change of heart can change our fate, 
to make our love immortalised instead.

I love you and I miss you

my heart beats for one more time, 
agony inside me has emanated the rest.

as I once again re-discover the joy of being obsessed, 
truth amidst the illusions, has once again been suppressed.

suppressed forever like my dreams which left me depressed, 
frustration seeks to escape in the flow of words.

words are not just words, but jeweled with the drops of tears, 
heart of mine refuses to go on in your demise.

if only your love could be a reprise, 
as my heart beats for one last time.

I still can hear it say, 
I love you and I miss you.

broken heart still beats for you

love has turned in to a dream, 
that will never be realized, 
I am drowning in the estuary, 
of my own tears,

desire to live is dying soon, 
and the smile is soon fading, 
heart has crumbled in to pieces, 
but I can still feel it say ‘aye.. love you’.

broken heart still beats for you, 
and goes on if you can come back, 
heart is tired of beating, 
and in pain it is now bleeding, 

with my heart broken, 
withered hope... 
you ask me to live on?

I died a death but stayed alive

I died a death but stayed alive,
in phantom’s likeness I survive,

alive, yet dead, I walk alone,
in rooms with walls as cold as stone,

I lived a life and dreamed a dream,
and loved the life you lived with me.

then in the whisper of a breath
you left, and then I died a death.

though dead I live, I cannot part
from love that lives within my heart.

within my sorrow I must strive,
to keep my hope and faith alive.

for all the love that I would give,
I surely would prefer to live.

to be content, not to survive,
but feel my spirit come alive.

you slowly took your final breath,
it was me, my dear, who died a death.